Intentional Decisions Influence the Trajectory of Your Life
Diagnosed with a heart condition in his teenage years, Dr. Jason Young wasn't 100% certain he would make it through each day. Because of this, his mindset leads him to embrace each day with unique enthusiasm.
“Tensionality is rarely convenient for me, but it is always meaningful to the other person. That’s why it’s worth it.”
In addition to this quote, here are some points of conversation that resonated with me most deeply.
Jason is without a doubt gracious. He thanked me right away. I don't know if he was just polite but he was so nice to have on the podcast.
Jason's enthusiasm for others is contagious. His desire is to provide encouragement and hope. It was the first thing he told me he wanted to do. He wants to help others because he knows that even the smallest act can make a difference in someone else's life.
If you're like most people, you've probably heard the phrase "what you can control" and "what you cannot control" more than a few times in your life.
When you think about it though, it’s basically the same as the difference between surviving and thriving at work. The truth is that these invisible rules in our minds stymie our ability to live our best lives.
Overwhelming is common. We’ve all had this. It’s how you deal with it. making wise decisions. We tell ourselves a story of things we focus on and continue to tell ourselves this story and ruminate and the story is completely different and possibly feeding into our positivity or our negativity, and one day you wake up and wonder what happened which will not lead to the pinnacle of success as leaders.
How you make decisions matters. Small decisions matter the most. Wise decisions matter even more. How you choose to spend your time, what you listen to, what you don’t listen to. When you grow up with something serious like a heart condition and you are still here, it’s all about the brevity of life. Jason told me, “Mornings are my favorite part of the day because I get to wake up.” That’s a strong feeling to start the day with. You can decide to have a positive attitude and to seize opportunities.
Every morning we have a choice to LIVE. Not to just “be here.” We can choose to be present in our lives, to be proactive about what we want, and to be conscious of the steps we need to take in order to get there. We can choose not just to exist, but to thrive. No one chooses to be the worst boss but if you make small decisions that lead you there.
It's a difference in perspective, that "the voices we invite into our life affect the trajectory of our lives." Jason created a list of the kind of people he wanted in his life. Clear with them on their role in my life and what I need. ‘challenger’ for example. This person can implore me to act boldly. Choose people wiser than myself – ask them for help to be a better leader, husband, friend, and human. This has a domino effect so it needs intentional. This creates moments that have changed everything for me.
If you are trapped with negative paralyzing voices in your mind, you can overcome that by changing the story you tell yourself. Change your perspective instead of focusing on the negative. Instead, try thinking of things from a different angle like, what do I want people to say or feel when I walk away from me?
Intentionally matters, remember the quote from the beginning of the episode: “Tensionality is rarely convenient for me, but it is always meaningful to the other person. That’s why it’s worth it.” Choice matters. Behavior matters. Going with the flow is normal – choosing a new path is leadership, you need to make smart choices, strong ones, to be a leader. It can be incredibly rare but powerful.
Your childhood shapes how you work. What is something from your childhood that shows up in your work? How do they influence how you show up? How we saw our parents care for people growing up. Can you CHANGE your stories and narrative in your head in ways that serve you? We are the boss of us. But we are not good enough to do this on our own, you need to invite people who can help us start and move forward. We need other smart voices to help us so we can make incremental tweaks, not thinking of a huge overhaul.
Modeling what you are expecting takes practice. It can be a little harder to practice what you preach. Jason gives the example of talking to his kids about having an attitude until he realizes he’s doing it with an attitude. Try to be aware of how we react and actually model for others the behavior we believe in and are expecting.
Good leaders ask “What is it like to be on the other side of me?” You need help to see things from the outside, that is normal, step up, and lean in. But feedback is hard, even when we want it or don’t but it’s the only way to grow. Be open to what others are saying and try to take something from it instead of being defensive.
Trauma – matters to our bodies. Bring more awareness to this. This can be preventable or recoverable from inviting the right decisions of inviting strong solid positive voices into your life. Understand what you can avoid and if it’s already happen how you can recover instead of feeling stuck.
Learn More About Dr. Jason Young
Jason has spent over 25 years working alongside well-respected churches and companies. He partners with leaders to ask important questions, build a psychologically safe space, listen to the presenting problems, clarify the best way to solve your challenges, and partner to execute a plan that works for the leader and their organization.
With an earned doctoral degree in hospitality and completing his Ph.D. in leadership trauma, he is a nationally recognized guest experience consultant and leadership guide, a keynote speaker, a best-selling author with six books, and a university professor.
Through experience, research, and education, Jason has developed strategies to help people understand people because he discovered that most organizational challenges require relational solutions.
Jason helps leaders and teams better understand who they are, what they already have, find ways to gain momentum, and rediscover what it means to thrive.
Author Information
Natasha Ganem, PhD, serves as principal consultant and organizational psychologist at Lion Leadership, an executive education firm dedicated to helping company owners design world-class leadership teams. To learn more about Lion Leadership coaching services, management training, and off-site retreat facilitation, contact us at info@lionleadership.com.
Lion Leadership – an executive education company.
We coach and train leadership teams and mid-level managers so that people don’t quit because of bad bosses. Whether you need 1-on-1 coaching for yourself, a custom leadership academy for your company, off-site retreats for your teams, or just a few hours of morale building, we are here to get your organization ready for what’s next. Natasha Ganem, Ph.D., is the founder and principal consultant.
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