Being Different Is The Key to Finding Your Strengths
In this episode on The Lion40 Podcast, I talk again to Laurie Curtis, Director of Children's Ministries, who grew up feeling like she didn’t quite fit in even within her own family and that something was missing. It wasn’t until later that she found what she was looking for, which would forever impact her future and shape her leadership journey. Building on her experience of how she felt growing up, teaching, and ministry, Laurie now leads a dynamic team by empowering others to discover their gifts and utilize them for maximum impact.
“Different kind of started out as a feeling when I was really young and then became a whole trajectory of my life that’s different. I’ve had conversations even as an adult with my parents about my childhood, and in the kindest way I never got you, you just were different. And it was a really affirming statement to me because I was like I know.”
In addition to this quote, here are some points of conversation that resonated with me most deeply.
It’s okay to feel different even if your own family doesn’t get you.
Laurie talked about growing up with a strong love for Jesus, and religion wasn't something that she grew up with but something she found herself. This made her feel different from her family who confirmed later they couldn’t relate. She also later talks about how often at one point in one way or another we all feel like we don’t fit in and we all feel different because we are all different.
It’s easy to feel like you are alone or the only one going through those feelings but chances are you are not and staying true to yourself is a strength and can extend into your career path and what you do later in life.
2. Growing up feeling different gives you a different perspective and empathy for others who are different.
Something I was not expecting was that when Laurie was telling me about her adoptive son and how he felt different from the family, and how her experience of growing up and feeling out of place really helped her be uniquely empathetic towards her son and how he was feeling.
It also applies to people who come in with a look on their faces that they want to know more but aren’t sure where to start and take a step towards something new. That takes courage to step out of your comfort zone and helps you see people as people and understand we are all vulnerable.
3. Be a leader in creating what you feel like you were missing to help others.
In her career, Laurie now gets to look back on the sense of community and events that she would have loved to have as a kid for the children she now works with. She is a leader in a large organization, who now works with a team of high-capacity leaders to create a wonderful environment for children up to fifth grade. This also comes up as often being different as the only female on these leadership teams and feeling comfortable being different which allows her to be confident and stand in the face of being different and stick to her beliefs and values.
There is no one path to success. Just like everyone else, you have your own unique strengths and weaknesses, experiences, and beliefs. You can be successful if you focus on your strengths, and build upon them. Being different doesn't make you weird or strange; it makes you special. If there's something about yourself that makes you stand out from others, embrace it!
4. It takes courage to really be you.
When Laurie was telling me about being empathetic towards people who take a step out of their comfort zone to want to be involved in something they maybe weren’t comfortable with I reflect on the courage it takes each one of us just to get through the day sometime, and I appreciate that she honestly responded with how she battles with that every day to show up strong.
There are times when we catch ourselves showing up small when we aren’t feeling typically courageous and confident. We might feel like we don’t deserve to be heard or seen. We might be thinking, “Who am I to speak up?” or “What do I have to say?” or “No one will listen anyway.
But the truth is, sometimes it takes practice and waking up every day and just choosing to be courageous. You can model that for everyone in your staff, network, and your children.
5. Adversity can shape your leadership journey when you look back.
Thinking back on Laurie’s adoptive children and their struggles and what she hopes for their leadership journey she told me that she hopes it helps them as it has helped her. She talks about spending a lot reassuring them that even though they may not always feel it, they do belong, have integrity, and are honest and vulnerable. Her hope is that they will later be able to look back and see how far they have come and how much they accomplished and became all they are intended to be and how they will tell their stories.
You want to be able to look back at the times it was difficult and say I faced these hardships and look how it’s shaped me and succeeded. If you’re struggling with something or feeling like you aren’t good enough or feeling like you don’t have what it takes: just keep pushing through. Just keep pushing through because there is so much more than meets the eye sometimes, especially when it comes to careers and passions — there are so many different ways that things can go. You never know where things will lead you and you may look back on how this made you stronger.
More About Laurie Curtis
Laurie lives in Athens Georgia with her husband Matt and four kids. She oversees the preschool and elementary environments at Athens Church where she serves as the the Children’s Ministry Director. As a mom of 4 teenagers, Laurie knows the incredible honor and responsibility it is to instill a solid foundation of faith in the next generation. Building on her experience within her own family, teaching, and ministry, Laurie leads a dynamic team by empowering others to discover their gifts and utilize them for maximum impact.
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Author Information
Natasha Ganem, PhD, serves as principal consultant and organizational psychologist at Lion Leadership, an executive education firm dedicated to helping company owners design world-class leadership teams. To learn more about Lion Leadership coaching services, management training, and off-site retreat facilitation, contact us at info@lionleadership.com.
Lion Leadership – an executive education company.
We coach and train leadership teams and mid-level managers so that people don’t quit because of bad bosses. Whether you need 1-on-1 coaching for yourself, a custom leadership academy for your company, off-site retreats for your teams, or just a few hours of morale building, we are here to get your organization ready for what’s next. Natasha Ganem, Ph.D., is the founder and principal consultant.