Leveraging Difference to be a Better Leader
Today on the Lion 40 Podcast I interview Brandy Simula. From a young age, Brandy grew up with many kinds of differences that she wasn’t quite sure how to handle. Not just in her upbringing but in how she felt as a person, greatly impacting her leadership journey. Using her skills from growing up with differences and knowledge from her four degrees including sociology, Brandy learned what it truly meant to be a leader and what is so often overlooked but needed for company success.
“My sister and I being literally sent out of our classroom to go sit in the library repeatedly when our classes were doing things that we weren’t allowed to do and so just lot of early memories of being excluded we were nicknamed the weird Simula’s so that’s what I remember growing up.”
In addition to this quote, here are some points of conversation that resonated with me most deeply.
Childhood struggles can play an integral role In our leadership journey.
It's true that our childhood struggles can shape us into who we are today and provide us with unique skills and perspectives. These struggles can teach us resilience, problem-solving, and empathy as valuable assets in both our personal and professional lives. Brandy talks about often in school she couldn't participate in activities, was teased, felt excluded, and people didn’t make space for her.
This translated to her adult life having many unique traits, feeling like she didn’t fit in, was often the only woman, having nonapparent differences such as being queer, and disabled, made her compelled to not want anyone else to go through those struggles. Mental muscles acquired from having to grow up with these differences affect emotional intelligence or cognitive muscles that create better leaders.
2. You don’t need to follow the norm or do something just because you're supposed to.
When you go to college you decide from a large array what you want to study or major in, and when Brandy was asked this question she didn’t just pick one, or two things, but four. She was the first generation in her family to go to college and quadruple majored even though everyone told her she couldn’t, but technically was allowed. Refuse to believe that you have to “stick to your lane” or “pick just one thing” just because that’s what’s typically done. March to the beat of your own drum and don’t be afraid to push against the norm.
She shared a story about how she took a stand in a previous role and got a lot of backlash for it. Growing up differently made her comfortable to speak up and stand her ground instead of being caught up with the typical structure and instead teaching her to show up as a leader.
3. Your differences give you different mental muscles.
Brandy mentions the strength of emotional intelligence as a developed skill set from growing up with differences. It's not just that we have differences, but having to do a lot of work managing the perception of how we want others to see us.
People with high emotional intelligence tend to be better at handling conflict, they're less likely to let disagreements blow up into major issues within organizations. Emotional intelligence is tied closely with empathy (the ability to understand others' feelings), leaders who are more self-aware often perform better working with others.
Narrative shifting is the ability to shift between different perspectives or points of view. It’s a skill that helps leaders see things from many different vantage points, which helps them better understand their own thinking and behavior.
4. The Power of Narrative Shifting
Narrative shifting is the power to move between different stories about yourself, your life, and the world. When you rewrite your story, you open yourself up to new possibilities, opportunities, and experiences.
The fact that one day the narrative is THIS so we have to follow these rules but literally the next day the narrative is something different and those rules simply don’t apply. This is so interesting to me. We have the power to change our minds, our stories, and our identities based on the way we shape our language in our internal mental chatter.
Narrative shifting is an essential skill for life, but it's not something that just happens on its own — it takes practice and intentionality. To shift our narratives, we have to be able to notice them in the first place; then we have to learn how to change them (or at least recognize when they're no longer serving us); finally, we need to practice this skill over time so that it becomes second nature.
5. What does it mean to be a leader?
Brandy spoke to me about her experiences with leaders and work environments and how she had to navigate being different and the need for a psychologically safe environment.
What does it mean to create a psychologically safe environment?
It means you can bring who you really are, a full range of emotions, not having to throw on a face, to be able to share if you choose, your apparent and nonapparent differences without feeling it will jeopardize your job or well-being. Leaders are responsible for creating a psychologically safe environment for their team members - it's not just about work problems but how we care for each other and what’s going on outside of work.
Organizations that want to support their people in all aspects of life and think of you as a whole person have happy employees because how you feel affects your ability to do your best work. Caring for people as a whole is going to have the best business outcomes, be able to retain the best talent, are places people want to work.
6. Why don’t more companies make creating a psychologically safe environment a priority?
Many organizations don’t realize how important this work is to key business outcomes. It’s not the cherry on top, the lowest priority task, it’s critical work to develop leaders, diversity, equity, inclusivity, and allow people the freedom to feel themselves.
There are two kinds of mentalities when it comes to this. I often see I had it tough, I dealt with it so you can too. Or you have where Brandy comes from with the mentality that I went through that and I don’t want others to have to struggle how I did.
I have so many company owners complaining about losing people, asking me how I get top talent and keep them. I tell them, you have to care about your people and they say ok but you have to actually make the effort and really care. People want to feel valued and cared for in all aspects of their life not just work, and feel that they truly belong, will stay for the long term.
7. People don’t leave bad companies they leave bad managers.
We have all had bad managers but how many good managers can you remember? Organizational structures and policies need to be changed but also a person's immediate manager has the biggest impact on an individual work experience and the relationship with the manager is even more important so it needs both. Structure plus leadership development to managers that show they care and structure will invest in support and resources.
The most important thing about management is that it requires skill and training and must be modeled. The main challenge that I have seen is that most of the companies that we work with have a lot of company owners, who are so focused on the business and making money that they forget about their employees.
We help them understand what motivates people, how to communicate better, and how to be more engaging and inspiring in their role as a leader. It requires helping them understand that taking care of their people takes some mindset shifting that they aren’t used to or always want to do is what will really help their company grow.
8. Burnout is a real problem.
Remember Brandy said a person’s immediate manager has the most impact on their job? First-level managers have the highest rates of burnout. It's a problem when people are expected to take on too much responsibility and are not given the support they need.
It’s important to prevent burnout, create an environment where employees feel supported by their manager as a whole person not just their work tasks, where they know what is expected of them; where they know how their work fits into the big picture; where they feel valued and appreciated for what they do every day; where they have the resources necessary to do the job well; where they see opportunities for growth within their current position.
More About Brandy Simula
Dr. Brandy L. Simula (she/they) is the founder of Brandy L. Simula Coaching and Consulting and a Leadership Development Consultant at a Fortune 50 tech company. An award-winning strategist, consultant, speaker, and professional coach, she has spent the last decade leveraging her doctoral training in social psychology to help organizations address top workplace culture and organizational development challenges. An ICF certified executive and leadership coach and member of the Forbes Coaching Council, she writes and speaks frequently on leadership and organizational development, DEIB, workplace culture, well-being, and women’s and LGBTQ+ career and leadership development. She is passionate about helping organizations empower people to bring their authentic selves to work and flourish personally and professionally. Dr. Simula holds a PhD in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies and Sociology from Emory University. Read more about her work at brandysimula.com.
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Author Information
Natasha Ganem, PhD, serves as principal consultant and organizational psychologist at Lion Leadership, an executive education firm dedicated to helping company owners design world-class leadership teams. To learn more about Lion Leadership coaching services, management training, and off-site retreat facilitation, contact us at info@lionleadership.com.
Lion Leadership – an executive education company.
We coach and train leadership teams and mid-level managers so that people don’t quit because of bad bosses. Whether you need 1-on-1 coaching for yourself, a custom leadership academy for your company, off-site retreats for your teams, or just a few hours of morale building, we are here to get your organization ready for what’s next. Natasha Ganem, Ph.D., is the founder and principal consultant.