From a Whisper to a Roar. The Evolution of a Lioness
This week on the LION40 podcast we are welcoming Altovise Pelzer, an author, speaker, podcaster, and visionary speaking up for INTROVERTED LEADERS. Yes, indeed, introverts have a powerful leadership voice, and in this episode, she unpacks exactly what that can look like. No doubt you will feel empowered not only to make your YES a true YES through listening, you will also feel empowered to say NO, to receive a NO, and to change your mind with confidence. This is one you're are going to want to listen to time and time again.
“With so many things that happened and life experiences, I became muted. I wouldn’t tell people what was going on with me, I wouldn’t ask for help, ask for support because there was a shame that came with it. If I tell people where I really am right now. What will they think of me, how will they feel, how will they respond and treat me?”
In addition to this quote, here are some points of conversation that resonated with me most deeply.
Introverts CAN be leaders.
It’s easy to forget what we bring to the table and get stuck an idea in our heads of what we think being successful looks like. Then be quick to say, but I’m not like that, that’s just not me. There is no cookie-cutter success. My unique gifts and experiences are what I need to pull from and will help shape me as a leader. Altovise is a mom of 4, an author, speaker, podcaster, and visionary. She believes she is possibly the “world’s worst introvert,” but I think one who is definitely making an important splash.
2. Seek introverts and ask them for their thoughts and opinions.
If you haven’t heard anything from someone, doesn’t mean they don’t have anything to say. Don’t listen to just those who raise their hand and offer information freely. I’m missing out on so much valuable information by not reaching out to those that are quiet in the room. A different perspective, a better solution? This could be a game-changer. As a leader, I need to hear everyone at the table, which means taking a more active role in reaching out to hear from everyone for untapped potential.
3. Don’t be afraid to share.
It’s so easy to get caught up in your own head. Really know yourself and not be afraid to tell others what you can bring to the table. Why is it so hard to put it out there? Why does it feel so scary? When someone asks, speak up! Know your genius and don’t be afraid to share it with others. Stop surviving and start thriving. I have my own set of experiences and skills that are valuable.
4. Words are powerful.
It’s easy to underestimate just how much of an impact what we say has on someone. Some thoughts and feelings may feel too private, unmatching of the facade we are constantly showing to others. Versions of ourselves we don’t want people to see. Not trying to pretend I always have it together and being honest relates to others so much more. Altovise shares that the moment she shared her truth with her daughter – everything changed, thanks to that verbal communication.
5. Understand Your Enemy.
Knowing the tricks of the ‘enemy’ matters. Don’t fall into a plan that someone else wrote for you by making you feel alone and unworthy. If you feed into their narrative, they can dictate your path and lead you down a road you don’t want to be on. Knowing this gives me power over my own destiny and the path that I choose.
6. Sometimes true leadership happens and you don’t even know it.
When I put myself out there and connect with others, it may not feel like a leadership moment but surprisingly was. Altovise mentions “in the moment…you don’t see the power in it.” But upon reflection, you can see just how widely it stretched your power and the impact it has on others. I wonder if I look back how many unintentional moments were much more meaningful that I thought at the time.
7. You can become “unmuted”.
We get “muted” when we have something to share that we think will cause shame and judgment. We have the power to make changes, we CAN become “unmuted.” In fact, it’s a shame that the concept of leadership makes us think we must be ‘this way’ or ‘that way.’ The definitive characteristic of leadership – possibly – is the ability to NOT wear a mask of who we think we should be but rather honor our authentic selves as such –NOT be hidden. “Unmute” yourself.
8. Should I stay or should I go?
Decision-making time – Are you going to feel sorry for yourself, and wallow in your pajamas on the couch or are you going to jump on that opportunity? Altovise remembers a time that she could have stayed home for a pity party for one or get on a flight to an event. Choose the flight. You can tell yourself it’s not the right time, I’m not ready. Or you can stop missing opportunities and throw yourself out there because you won’t know until you try and you will never be “ready”.
9. Your yes needs to be yes. Your no needs to be no.
You need both to succeed. As well as the ability to understand that you CAN change your mind. One of the most powerful moments in this conversation is when Altovise discusses the power of saying yes to the RIGHT things, and the power of saying NO to the right things, and the power to CHANGE OUR MINDS. For example, she talks about the gravitational pull to saying “yes” because, in her words, I loved you, I felt like you needed it, I felt like I had to, and everyone else was. Yet this can lead to feelings of desperation, and the feelings of drowning. This suffocation does not lead to solid long-term decision-making. Instead, focus on the here and now and what you could do not what you feel like you can’t. It is important for leaders to get okay with changing their minds and expressing that. It’s important for them to not be fearful of saying no to preserve what they really need to be doing. Entrepreneurs burn out because they say ‘yes’ to too many things.
10. Don’t mind the haters, the un-frienders, and the ugly that comes from a strategic no.
And certainly, don’t allow this to lead to acting out of desperation. Desperation really can be solved in three ways. 1) recognizing that if the worst happens – you will not stop moving forward. You might pause, but you WILL keep moving forward. 2) recognizing that the truth is that there is probably something here that simply needs to be learned, then the problem can be solved. And 3) at the core, yes really needs to stay yes, and no really needs to stay no. I can also choose to do nothing. It may feel like it but not everything needs an immediate response.
11. A No can be just as good as a yes.
We should be as grateful for nos as we are for yeses. Hearing NO is maybe the best thing that can happen to us and needs to happen. I will not let a no push me to shut down or become muted. It can push you to think of things from a different perspective and a better-suited path. The best innovations are born from a NO.
Learn more about Altovise Pelzer, Host of The #SpeakEasy Podcast & Amazon Influencer, and Unmuted Voices, LLC
I #unmute the voice of women who are ready to speak up about what has kept her silent for way too long!
Featured in magazines like Courageous Woman Magazine, UpWords Magazine, and SwagHer Magazine. Hundreds of girls, women, and men have become unmuted through the books, speeches, interviews, and coaching that Altovise has been committed to over the years.
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Author Information
Natasha Ganem, PhD, serves as principal consultant and organizational psychologist at Lion Leadership, an executive education firm dedicated to helping company owners design world-class leadership teams. To learn more about Lion Leadership coaching services, management training, and off-site retreat facilitation, contact us at info@lionleadership.com.
Lion Leadership – an executive education company.
We coach and train leadership teams and mid-level managers so that people don’t quit because of bad bosses. Whether you need 1-on-1 coaching for yourself, a custom leadership academy for your company, off-site retreats for your teams, or just a few hours of morale building, we are here to get your organization ready for what’s next. Natasha Ganem, Ph.D., is the founder and principal consultant.
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